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Posted on 20 Май 201915

My boring ass life

My boring ass life
Life advice from a fat, lazy slob who did good by Kevin Smith.

Pop doesn’t care if Thursday IS the last day of school: he’s picking me up at noon on Wednesday to see this new Bond flick, and the only thing that’s gonna stop him is a license to kill. And this was the common ground upon which my Dad and I would build the foundation of our relationship: watching entertainment together, generally in silence. And as much as I’d always been a movie brat, that month was where my lifelong love affair with cinema began in earnest. The reason for the early dismissal? My Mom’s Great Aunt has passed away and we need to go be with the family. I was the third of his three kids, disinterested in country music (his passion) and less interested in sports (his pastime).

Whether it was a George Carlin album as it spun on a record player or CARLIN AT CARNEGIE as it took over the TV in the early days of HBO, the time my Father and I spent together was always about watching stuff. Download the favicon to the root of your website, and place this line of code anywhere between your A favicon is a "favorites" icon that is associated with a particular website or webpage that is displayed in the browser address bar next to a site's URL. Remember that,” she said, heading away from the front desk to her office. After we got away with movie matinee hooky, Pop decided that was gonna be our “thing”: every week, he’d sign me out of school early and we’d go to the movies. I saw him cry – and it wasn’t because he was thinking “My kid just ruined his career…” The man of few words told me EXACTLY what was on his mind after the movie ended.

It is also being increasingly used as a visual cue in everything from Firefox tabs to site identifiers in AJAX homepages. Turns out he DID know better. I’m a 10 year old Catholic boy in 1981, so I must be telling the truth, right? My Old Man was a huge James Bond fan, so for a third consecutive week in a row, Dad wanted to yank his youngest out of class to see FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. And I’d listen with great attention, like it mattered – because it was really something when the Old Man has something to say. Again, my Mom instructs me to tell the Sisters the family is rushing to a funeral for a fallen great aunt. But to be fair, I enjoyed every movie I ever saw with my Father. And my Father was not only not punishing me for lying to a grown-up, he was complicit as well! The next day, I tried to explain to my best friend Ernie O’Donnell two very controversial points I’d learned while studying a mid-afternoon movie instead of the Bible: 1) My Dad was cool, and 2) Indiana Jones was like an American James Bond. JERSEY GIRL was the last of my flicks he got to see, and while some may snark that’s what probably killed him, I know better: I was there when he watched the flick the first time. Some were good, some weren’t, but none of them were ever a waste of my time.

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And rather than flip the script, my Mother stuck with a classic: “Tell her my great Aunt died. Movies were so revered in my family, I was encouraged to lie (a sin!) to my teachers so I could circumvent the system and play hooky at the picture show. After we got away with movie matinee hooky, Pop decided that was gonna be our “thing”: every week, he’d sign me out of school early and we’d go to the movies. Remember that,” she said, heading away from the front desk to her office. But the Old Man won’t have it: the weekends are too crowded at the multiplex, and the tickets cost nearly double.

When I grew up, I made movies for a living. Because each one is a mini-monument to the man who made me. So it’s my last week in Fifth Grade and Mom urges Dad to bring me to Bond on the upcoming weekend instead. It is also being increasingly used as a visual cue in everything from Firefox tabs to site identifiers in AJAX homepages. It’s likely the reason I talk so much: there must be some subconscious desire to say all the stuff my Dad was too trapped inside himself to express.

Some were good, some weren’t as good, but none of them were ever a waste of our time – time we spent together. I’m a 10 year old Catholic boy in 1981, so I must be telling the truth, right? My Old Man was a huge James Bond fan, so for a third consecutive week in a row, Dad wanted to yank his youngest out of class to see FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. The reason for the early dismissal? My Mom’s Great Aunt has passed away and we need to go be with the family. Turns out he DID know better. The first time the Old Man decided to pull me out of school early to see a flick, my Mom told me to tell the Sisters that I was missing Religion class because a Great Aunt had died and we were rushing to a last minute funeral – not that my Dad wanted to see RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK for cheap mid-week. And this was the common ground upon which my Dad and I would build the foundation of our relationship: watching entertainment together, generally in silence. So I put on my Catholic school uniform of green slacks, sweater and tie with a white button-down shirt, walk up Miller Hill to Our Lady of Perpetual Help school, and head to the office to tell them my Dad is picking me up at lunch again. Again, my Mom instructs me to tell the Sisters the family is rushing to a funeral for a fallen great aunt. So the next week, me and the Old Man wanna see SUPERMAN II. I saw him cry – and it wasn’t because he was thinking “My kid just ruined his career…” The man of few words told me EXACTLY what was on his mind after the movie ended.

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